I started Radiation yesterday

I have radiation every morning Monday through Friday at 7:54am until September 4th. I thought it was going to be 6 weeks, but it will be 7 weeks minus one day. The treatment itself takes less than 5 minutes and it is not painful. Except I have to sit really still and hold my breath a couple of times to put a little space in between radiation rays and my heart.
Yesterday, was extra fun because I ended up getting a cyst from an ingrown hair in my bikini area removed. It got as big as an almond. It hurts to walk, since it is in a very inconvenient place. Hopefully, it will be better in a few days.
My naturopath reminded on me on Friday that I am still in treatment. Often people think when they are done with chemo they are back to life as normal, but the radiation side effects are burning of the skin in the treatment area (I’m having it done in the left breast and some of the lymph nodes in the neck area), depression, anxiety and fatigue. I am praying that I won’t have these side effects. I need to drink lots of water and get plenty of rest.
It has been 3 weeks since my last chemo treatment. I still have some tingling and numbness in my toes from the last treatment, but I’m taking Glutamine to help with this. My hair hasn’t started growing yet and I still feel pretty tired. I have to pace myself which is not fun for me. Plus, I have to stay out of the sun. This was hard at camp. I am so glad that I was able to go to camp with our youth group. My husband stayed in the high school boy cabin and this time I stayed in a house. I had to cook all of my meals and I needed to make sure I got enough rest. Camp was amazing! The kids were hungry for God. We prayed for baptism of the Holy Spirit the second night and the third night we offered water baptism. 21 kids were baptized! The kids who weren’t baptized this year basically all went last year (51 kids). I think there were about 80 kids at camp this year. My husband, the Pastor and one of his interns did the baptisms during the worship time. It was amazing to see the kids, praying for each other, hugging, crying and praising God with lifted hands. After the baptisms, we went out to the camp fire. The Pastor asked the kids ages 11-24 to write down their past hurts and any addictions or problems they are struggling with. I was so proud of the kids. They actually stood up, spoke out loud in front of their peers and confessed addictions, to drugs, alcohol, pornography, you name it. They cried out to God and told Him how they wanted to be free. After this the kids were able to sing, worship, and praise God with raised hands without worrying about what their peers thought. Also, my husband had an incredible experience. He and one of his High School boys in his cabin were praying and at one point, while my husband’s eyes were closed, he saw Jesus standing with his hand reaching out over the boy. When they were done praying for about a half an hour, my husband shared his vision. The boy said that he saw the exact same thing. It was so wonderful to hear them tell about their experience. Even though they said it was difficult to describe how they felt. Wow, God is good! I also had a vision during a weekend retreat called Life Change last year. I was worshiping God and I saw a light come down and it filled all the holes in my heart. God had truly healed my broken heart!
I am really excited to get my puppy, Lily this Saturday. We have been rushing to get the house and the yard ready. Also, I am planning on have a lia sophia jewelry show at my house at the end of this month on Friday July 31st at 7pm. This is the last chance to order from the spring/summer catalogue. The new fall/winter catalogue starts in August. So, if you would like to come just email me at kandiels@comcast.net and I will give you directions.
Thanks again to everyone for all your prayers and support. I’m planning on going back to teaching the first week of September. I’m praying I will be rested and ready to go.
Love and Blessings,
Kandie

Treatment #8: LAST CHEMO (Tuesday, June 30, 2009)!!!

I can’t believe it’s my last round! Oh, how I’ve waited for this! The doctor said I should start feeling 80-90% back to normal in a few months. And probably back to 100% after a year. My hair should start growing back in a couple of months! I will miss not having to shave! That was nice!
The treatment went as planned, except my hand was swollen for a couple days because of the IV. My veins shrunk due to chemo and because I had the lymph nodes removed in my right arm, I can only get blood drawn and needles in my right. The good news is with this last round we don’t have to do any shots in the stomach! Yeah! The day after chemo I went to my radiation consult. I had a CT scan to get me ready for radiation. Never say never! I never thought I would get a tattoo, but technically I did. They had to mark the area to be treated so they gave me 4 dots about the size of freckles. Needles, needles… The doctor said that I probably won’t experience any side effects from the radiation until about 2-3 weeks later. The skin starts to get pink and then it can get pretty red. It looks like in addition to radiating the breast they will radiate a few lymph nodes in my neck. They are doing that as a precaution, since 1 of the 13 the lymph nodes in my arm tested positive. Another side effect is fatigue. I’m praying I will be able to continue to pace myself and not get too overwhelmed. The last few days I have been getting ready to go to youth camp. This will be my husband’s and my second year being youth group leaders. I have been so tired while trying to pack and get ready (I have to bring a weeks worth of food, special diet). I was so exhausted yesterday, that I didn’t even do anything for 4th of July. Hope everyone had a great holiday!
Also, I talked with my doctor about the risks of pregnancy. I guess the highest chance of cancer reoccurring is in the first 5 years. So, really I should not try and get pregnant for at least 2 to 3 years. I believe with God all things are possible! But, I know there are so many kids out there that need a home. So, my husband and I are going to concentrate on me getting healthy this next year then pursue adoption or foster care. We are waiting on God’s direction. Then if we get pregnant in a few years great! We are really at peace with whatever happens. We want children dearly. And my husband was the cutest baby in the world! I would love to have his kids, but we really want God’s will. His timing is perfect and so is His plan. I’m tired of wasting time and doing things outside of God’s will. I trust Him and I know He has a plan for us. So whatever that is. That will be best.
Anyway, I am really excited for camp this year. Last year 51 kids were baptized (ages 12-24). Baptisms were not even planned, but God showed up in many ways last year. It was amazing. We started the baptisms during worship and kids just coming forward. We worshiped for an hour and a half.
I can’t wait to see what God is going to do this year! We leave tomorrow for 5 days.
Thanks Judy & Cindy for hosting a lia sophia show for me. It was so good seeing my friends from the ESD! I had fun and this really helped with my naturopath expenses! I can’t wait for you to get your jewelry!
Thank you Karen U. and Margaret for interceding and praying for me the other day. I am so blessed to have people like you in my life.
I feel so loved and supported. Thank you all for helping me get through this very challenging time!
Please pray for camp! We are believing the Lord for big things. Young people are struggling with so many things; they really need a life changing encounter with Jesus the Risen Lord! I am praying for God’s grace too because I’m not supposed to be in the sun!!! We’re bringing a big umbrella and all the necessary things to keep me in the shade.
Also, our associate Pastor’s wife who is going to camp with us was just diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago, the same kind I had. Fortunately, they caught it a lot earlier. We are praying she will not have to do chemo or radiation. She will be leaving camp a day early on Friday for a mastectomy. Please pray for her and her husband!
Love and Blessings to everyone! I will update my blog after camp. I’m sure I will need a few days to rest. I just can't get as much done in a day as I used to. However, soon that will be changing!

Chemo Treatment #7 (Tuesday, June 16, 2009)

Sorry for the delayed update, my 7th treatment went really well. Again I basically experienced few side effects. I had a little bit of tingling and numbing in my toes and some weakness and fatigue; but it was really manageable. Praise God. I’m so thankful that I have medical insurance, could take time off work to rest, could see a naturopath, and have the amazing support of my husband, friends and family. God has truly covered me with His love and grace. Right before treatment number #7. I visited my puppy. She was 6 weeks in the above photos. She was born on Cinco de Mayo. Her name is Lily. She is a miniture apricot poodle.
This is her mom. She'll probably be about 15 inches.

I will be getting Lily the week after I start radiation. I start radiation on Monday, July 20th. If everything goes as scheduled I should be done Friday, August 28th. And back to work September 1st. I miss the kids!

6th Chemo treatment: June 2, 2009

Well it’s been almost a week since my mom took me to my last chemo treatment. In one week, I will have only 2 more to go. Then in mid July I will start radiation. Radiation will be Monday through Friday once a day, each day for 6 weeks. Then I have to decide if I will do hormone therapy or get my ovaries removed. After radiation is when I will have that discussion with the doctor. I would love to have my husband’s children. He was the cutest baby. We have been trying for the last few years. I know I would have to wait at least another 2 years before we try. Then there are risks. But with God anything is possible. Nevertheless, maybe it is God’s will for us to foster parent or adopt. We are praying that the Lord will direct us. In the meantime, things are going pretty well. Actually, a little over a week ago it was Thursday, May 28th my 38th birthday and I had had it! I was in the bathroom (frustrated from the lovely constipation that can come with the medication) and I got on my knees. I cried out to God and said, “Lord, please take this cold (sore throat and stuffy nose), this horrible itchy rash all over my arms and legs, and the burning feet.” Literally, the next day I started to feel better. And praise be to God. Since my treatment last Tuesday I have not experienced any side effects! No rash, no burning of the feet and no neuropathy (numbness, pain or tingling in hands and feet)! I have felt normal all week. It’s very surreal. The only thing that is abnormal is my faithful hot flashes that start around 7pm.
Since, I have been feeling good, I have spending time trying to get caught up on things around the house, visit with people and scrapbook. It’s amazing how the time still flies. Also, we finally found a puppy. She was only 10 days old. Her eyes were not open yet. She is an apricot miniature poodle. Here is a picture of her at 2 weeks.

I am going to visit her next Monday. She will then be a month old. Hopefully, once I see her personality I will have a name for her before we bring her home. We had been looking for a dog since my diagnosis. I thought it would be great to have a dog while going through chemo. Now I’m glad that I will actually be done by the time we have her. We will get her in mid July. My husband and I are so excited!!! I want two!
Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and support. I cannot express how grateful I am for everyone’s encouragement and love! I have such a joy in my life knowing that everyone is so caring and kind!
Love and Blessings, Kandie

4th & 5th Chemo! I'm more than half way done!

Wow, I’ve been wanting to write for awhile. Sorry, for the delay. I will try to update more often. I wanted to write after each treatment, but something always seemed to come up. Also, the fourth treatment (May 5th) really wiped me out. I was very tired and more nauseous then ever. Plus, I did not have those few days of feeling back to normal with that last round. As a result, I was looking forward to getting off the Cytoxan and Adriamycin and starting the Taxol with my fifth treatment. But, to my surprise the new drug on Tuesday the 19th brought different not necessarily better side effects. My husband is such a trooper. We were at the hospital 5 hours that day and it was his birthday. We did make it to the beach the weekend before so that he could relax. My friend Kirsten and her kids came and Dimitri's parents. Thank you Ashlie for letting us stay at your beach house!


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Wednesday, the day after treatment I started having a sore throat and runny nose. Then Thursday I started getting an itchy rash. It became progressively worse. Sunday, I went to urgent care and they gave me steroids. Today, it finally seems to be better. I told my husband a few days ago that I’d almost rather have the fatigue and nausea. But, now that the rash is getting better and I have less sinus congestion, still stuffy though, I am glad I’m not nauseous! I had no appetite the last few weeks. I felt like I was running out of food choices. The only thing I could stomach was a fruit smoothie. It’s nice to be able to eat again. And I’m not as tired. However, I don’t know if it’s because I’m taking steroids right now for the rash.
One thing that was such a blessing after my fourth treatment was that I was able to go to see my favorite band Third Day. We got VIP tickets which include meeting the band. However, when we got there I found out that we were supposed to meet the band before the concert and that they had just finished. I had assumed it was after. I had never had back stage passes and in the movies it seemed like that always happened after the concert. I was so disappointed. But, then I talked to one of the helpers and asked if there was anyway we could meet the band after. She said she would let me know. I prayed then about 15 minutes later she called during the opening band and said it was a go. I was so happy! Plus, because it was the band’s last show in America they allowed everyone to take photos during the concert! We had seats in the center and the perfect distance. They played all of my favorite songs. It was amazing night. The presence of God was so thick that at one point my heart was so filled up that I felt as if I could no longer contain the love, holiness and joy of Jesus. I had to tell God to lay off a little. LOL. It was wonderful!







THANK YOUS:
Thank you to all my friends from Clackamas ESD: Lance, Marlene, Kate, Julieanne, Kristie , Darro, Erin, Tricia, Jeff H., Barb, Ernesto, MaryJo, Magarita, Maribel, Amy Altenberger, Maureen, Diane S., Julie S., Karen U., Danna, Debra, Dave, Judy B., Katie, Pauline, Janet, Susan, Brigetta, Margaret, Ladonna, Gayle, Mar, Melissa F., Patty, Paula B.B., Ana G, Mary T., Steven, Mary C.K., Suzi C., and Jami for the cards and the money. It really helped out. I am so grateful I am able to see a Naturopath during my treatment! Mary R. told me there was another card that I didn’t get yet with more people signing their names. So, thank you to all of you whose name I didn’t mention who contributed and have been praying for me! Also, if your name wasn’t listed, it’s because I couldn’t make it out on the card. I miss you guys. I even miss Friday meetings. (Can you believe it?)
Thank you Mary Robinson for the beautiful scarf, air filter, car air filter and for hosting a lia sophia jewelry show for me. Also, thank you to everyone who came; it was so good to see you all. I wished we had more time to visit. Mary, thank you so much for helping me out. I really appreciate all you have done for me and all your support!
Thank you Sunya for the beautiful Hawaiian lei and the stuffed red & white blood cells. They are so cute and thoughtful! You look marvelous. Who would have known you went through the same treatment only a few months ago. Congratulations fellow survivor! Also, thank you for the card and the tea. Tea has been a nice comfort for me.
Thank you Kim Sarkisian for the lovely card.
Thank you Kirsten for going to Costco with me and helping to carry all my heavy stuff!
Thank you Kristi for helping me errands and things.
Thank you Celine for the book by Jillian Michael’s Master your Metabolism. This is a great book about how to keep your self healthy and protect yourself from the environment!!!
Thank you Louetta for the card and your encouragement.
Thank you Pastor Brenda for the card and all your prayers.
Thank you Darro for your card. It was nice to be able to visit with you at Mary’s.
Thank you to Rick for the beautiful photographs. You are an amazing photographer!

Chemo treatment # 3 CLEAN CAT SCAN!

I received my CT scan results last Friday. Praise God, they did not see anything of concern. Thank you for all your prayers!
I went to my young survivors group last Sunday and learned of a gal who has been coming to the group. She is 37 and was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about three years ago. She did all the treatments. Recently, the cancer come back and spread to her bones and liver. She has 3 kids and her husband and she are youth pastors. She and her husband are taking their kids to see the space shuttle in Florida (one of her dreams). We are praying that she will not only make it there (weather will be right), but that the Lord will do a miracle and she will be healed! It is so hard to know why God allows things. His ways are above are ways and thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).
But, what I do know for sure is that God is good! And, I also know that we all will expire one day. It is not fun to think about especially when death is staring you in the face. But it is a reality we all have to face. I was doing one of my Beth Moore Bible Studies, “Believing God” the other day and I realized that even though it may seem like many people are sick or have a disease (and God doesn’t heal enough today), I believe the contrary! God is constantly protecting us and healing us, I just believe we are unaware. When you think about the complexity of ONE tiny human cell and ALL the things that can go wrong it is amazing to think that we are functioning at all and are not sick more often! Here is what Beth Moore said in her Bible study about the complexity of a human cell; and she talks about evolution too which is fascinating.

“Evolution is the idea that all living things evolved from nonliving chemicals to simple organisms then changed through the ages to produce millions of species. Some of those organisms didn’t turn out to be nearly as simple as Darwin imagined. At the time when he and others like him tried to fit life under their mental microscopes, a basic cell was believed to be an unimpressive daub of protoplasm. The assumption made a simple and rapid evolution from basic chemicals far more plausible. Time proved complexities beyond comprehension. I’ll call on the expertise of authors Clayton and Jansma:
“We now know that a single cell with a nucleus is the microscopic equivalent of an entire high-tech, industrialized city. It is surrounded by a wall armed with a tight security system, selectively allowing raw material to enter and manufactured products to leave. The city contains a factory in mysterious communications network that dictates repair schedules and keeps track of all inventory. A special library within each city filled with detailed blueprints for every piece of machinery and maintenance equipment it uses. In living organisms, this information includes every minute characteristic of the organism,… Directions for all of this activity are encoded in the DNA, the genetic material of each cell, that is wound into the shape of a double helix within the microscopically small nucleus.” –There are so many possibilities for error and problems in one cell, so God IS taking care of us!

Beth continues, “I learned that 2 meters of DNA can be found in EVERY human cell, each packages with 46 chromosomes in an infinitesimal nucleus. While Darwin sat at his desk and reduced all of creation to simple blobs of protoplasm, the outstretched DNA in his body could have reached back and forth to the sun about 50 times! Charles Darwin was fearfully and wonderfully made. He just never knew it.” [You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.] Psalm 129:12-14

THANK YOUS:
Joanne Erb for the encouraging card
Jersuhah Tanner for the inspirational card
Celine Wagoner for the uplifting card
Thank you Kristi Polukeev for taking me to my 3rd treatment
Thank you Cynthia Elston for the card and the paint samples

6 weeks down 10 more to go!
This round was a little tougher. I had more nausea no vomiting though! And my red blood cell count went down to borderline anemic; but, fortunately my Naturopath has put me on supplements to help increase my blood count, so I am praying it will be more normal. I still have my eyelashes and eyebrows. Yeah! Next Tuesday will be my fourth treatment and May 19th I will be at the half way point! Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. It means a lot! Praying the time will fly by!

Lyrics for first song playing:
“Just Come In”
What do I see
You draggin up here
Is that for your atoning?
I know you're sorry
I've seen your tears
You don't have to show Me
What makes you think you must
Make that go away
I forgot
When I forgave
I wish you would

Chorus
Just come in
Just leave that right there
Love does not care
Just come in
Lay your heart right here
You should never fear

You think you've crossed
Some sacred line
And now I will ignore you
If you look up
You will find
My heart is still toward you
Look at the sky
The east to the west
That's where I threw this
When you first confessed
Let it go now

Chorus

I will forgive you
No matter what you've done
No matter how many times
You turn and run
I love you
I wish you'd come

Chorus

Scroll down to the very bottom and click on 1st song to replay!

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Starting to feel fairly normal again!

The day of my second round of chemo, I told my doctor my hair was starting to fall out. He informed me that it would be a very messy ordeal. So, I decided to shave my hair off that day. Fortunately, my friend Kirsten offered to come over. It was nice to be able to do it in the comfort of my own home. Thank you Kirsten! I have a couple of hair pieces to wear under hats and a wig for formal affairs. It’s weird with no hair. It’s kind of liberating. I hoping it will grow back a little thicker and maybe even with a little wave. We’ll see. It isn’t as bad as a thought. I never thought I would shave my head. Life’s truly an adventure.






Easter

It seems like it has taken me a little while longer to recover from this second round. I am just now starting to feel fairly normal in regards to energy and comfort. The best way to describe how I feel after chemo is “Hung Over”! I feel achy, tired, headache, weak, a little nauseous and YUCKY! But I know once this is all over I will be back to normal. I believe I will feel even better than before. I’m getting used to my diet and I’m excited to have better eating habits. Also, I am really trying to get on a regular exercise routine. Yesterday, I worked out 30 minutes on my elliptical. When I was working out I felt really empowered. I had to literally force myself to work out, but once I started I felt great. Wow, exercise is so important! Also, I’m getting in the habit to drinking a ton of water. I’m drinking between 80-100oz a day.
When I feel up to it, I’ve been trying to get caught up on things. I still have not even scrapbooked since all this started (4 months). I’m hoping to be able to do that soon. Also, we have been shopping around for a dog. I either want a poodle or a schnauzer or a hybrid of both a “Schnoodle”.
I was pretty tired on Easter. But, I was able to make it to church. We went with my mom, older brother and my husband’s parents. And then we went to brunch afterward. I’m getting ready to go to Bible study tonight. I’m so grateful for all the support I have. Even though I don’t feel “good” I'm so thankful that I don't have mouth sores and am not vomiting! I’m grateful I can see, hear, walk and function!
It is so important to appreciate and be thankful for all the things we do have!
Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!
Love and Blessings, Kandie ;^)